Feeling Disoriented?

What if I'm not sure what my sexual orientation is?
You are not alone! There is no time limit on making a decision about your sexual orientation, and you may find that once you think you've made a decision, you may change your mind. Feelings of affection and attraction can be confusing. One day you may think you're gay and then the next day you may feel that you were completely wrong about it. This is not unusual.

In our society, there is an assumption that everyone is straight. There is a lot of prejudice against people who are gay, lesbian, or bisexual. This prejudice makes it very difficult for people to be open with themselves and others about attractions to people of the same sex. People who are struggling to figure out their sexual orientation often feel torn between others' expectations of them and their own feelings. For example, it may be hard to accept feelings of being gay, lesbian or bisexual if your family doesn't accept it.

Exploring your sexual self by thinking about your attractions and feelings is a way of figuring out your sexuality. Just because you fantasize about having sex with someone of the same gender/sex, it does not mean that you have to call yourself gay or lesbian. As well, you may explore your sexual feelings for both males and females. Exploration and experimentation do not determine sexual orientation; they help you discover your true feelings.

Do I have to have sex to know if I'm gay/lesbian/bisexual?
No. You don't need be sexually active to have a sexual identity. Being gay, just like being straight, is not only about having sex. Being gay/lesbian is also about attraction, affection, how you see yourself, and the gender of the person you want to be in a relationship with.

What do I do if I think I might be gay/lesbian/bisexual?
Many people feel the same way you do, it is not abnormal. Even though it can be difficult because of stereotypes and prejudice, be proud of what you are and who you are! You do not have to label yourself as gay/lesbian/bisexual/straight if you don't feel comfortable with those labels. Get connected to other youths who are "queer" or are questioning their sexual orientation and seek out gay/lesbian themed movies, books and magazines. You can also talk with a friend, family member, counsellor or teacher who you trust and who values your privacy, safety and wellbeing.

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