When you might say yes and when should you say no?
Sex that feels good: Yes means Yes and No means No

When should you say yes and when should you say no?

When you might say Yes

• You are able to openly talk with your partner about sex, about what you like and don't like.
• You are not being pressured in any way.
• You are doing it because you want to, and you feel good about your decision.
• You are informed about safer sex and you have an agreement about protection for unplanned pregnancies and STIs.
• You know and feel comfortable about saying "no" at any time.
• You know what your options are if you, or your girlfriend, becomes pregnant.
• You know what to do if you become infected with a sexually transmitted infection.

It's easier to say YES if you know what your reasons are and you feel solid about them!

When you might Say No

• You do not feel comfortable having sex at this time.
• You don't feel good about the decision or are confused about making the right choice.
• You are not ready to risk getting pregnant or contracting an STI.
• You feel pressured by your boyfriend or girlfriend or by your friends.
• The relationship is not good - your girlfriend or boyfriend is jealous, controlling, etc.
• You know that being intimate and in love with someone means more than having sex. You feel more comfortable expressing your sexuality and love with your partner in ways that do not include intercourse.
• You don't feel turned on.

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Sex That Feels Good: Yes Means Yes and No Means No

Sex is best when two people talk about it, when they both agree to be sexual. Pressuring someone to have sex is NOT okay. Examples of pressure can be:

• Physical (pushing, holding someone down) This is a crime.
• Verbal (partner tries to persuade you, for example saying that because they love you, you should have sex together)
• Emotional (feel like if you say no your partner will leave you)

Sex is best when both partners agree and feel good about it. But sometimes it might be hard to say no when we don't want to have sex. It's important to be aware of how your partner is really feeling. If your partner hasn't said no but says the following statements, you might want to make sure that they feel okay about going further and are not feeling uncomfortable.

"No" Messages to Watch For:

• Non-verbal messages that show discomfort, such as lack of eye contact and crossing arms.
• The following statements:
  "I'm not sure if I'm ready."
  "I don't know if I want to."
  "I think I've had too much to drink."
  "I don't want to get pregnant/HIV."
  "I'm scared."

"Yes" Messages:

• "I want to do this."
• "I feel good about it."

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